Thursday, July 15, 2004
I Just Love These Things Six
There are some things in my life that I adore beyond belief. Here is a small sampling of these things. These things Six. Like Six from Blossom. Or like 666 cuz of the debil. Or like-Fuck you then.
1) I adore Miss Rita Rudner. When I am up way too late or if it’s a Friday and I’ve just gotten in from the bars, the first thing I do is turn on “Ask Rita”. I find this woman to not only be hilarious, but she is everything that I would want to be as an adult female. She is professional and classy and I love the way she talks. She began her career as a dancer. She had been in numerous Broadway productions before she married her husband and began writing and producing films. Her talk show is wonderful. If you find yourself awake at 2am sometime, tune in and check her out. She’s fabuloso! And she also reminds me of my friend Rita. Now you get the WHOLE picture.
2) It ain’t macaroni and cheese if it’s done with anything but Velveeta. YUMSICLE! I make THE best macaroni and chizzle. It’s creamy, thick goodness and it has less fat than cheddar cheese! Have you read the box? Velveeta tells no lies. Cook up a pound of pasta, melt in a box of the Velve and you got yourself one extra special good dinner. It sticks to your ribs with satisfaction! I also eat a lot of tacos. Tacos are good.
3) Back in the day I used to love a band called “Guster”. Over time, I forgot about them, much to my embarracksment. This past weekend, Rita gave me the new Guster cd, Keeping it Together, as a birthday present. It is so super great. I can’t stop from playing it over and over and well…over. So far songs #2 and #9 are my flava flave. You will love. And if you don’t, then obviously you love pestilence. You eat it and you love it.
4) I’m sorry, but The Simple Life 2 is even funnier and more enjoyable than the first. Paul and I have become addicts, which is nice since we don’t usually share the same taste in television. Anything that comes out of Paris and Nicole’s mouths makes me die laughing. Then, if they are bored, they don’t give a fuck, and they’ll ruin your life for jokes. Did you happen to see last night’s episode when they were trying to find the two boys some girlfriends? Every girl bailed on these two guys and out of nowhere, Paris enters and sits a gay guy down at the table. The two boys looked horrified and had no idea what to say. I shit with laughter and then I beat my dick off furiously. What? I was pissed at my dick.
5) Paul and I have started to download a shitload of musicload on his computerload. Each song is 99cents and since Paul has a million 99cents, I can have whatever music I want! I have been souping up his PC with so much good shit. I found a Rufus Wainwright cover of “Across the Universe” that makes me so so happy. I’m about to create the most amazing mix cd. And then, only then, will I have completed my life goal of burning a cd. I have a cd burner that I got for a Christmas present, but I have yet to figure out how to use it. Now I’ll just use Paul’s computer and let my burner sit quietly in the corner of my bedroom. It’s very pretty when it sits quietly.
6) I love TV. Here is my opinion on the most recent shows to debut.
The Amazing Race 3? The Amazing LOVE!
The Ashlee Simpson Show? The ashlee I fucking hope you die Show.
The Next Action Star? Eh. Not as good as I had hoped show.
Newlyweds? I’ve had ENUFF! All Simpsons should go away forevel and evel amen. Except for Homer, Marge, Bart, Maggie, and Lisa. They are the only characters that give clout to the Simpson name. And they’re cartoons!
The Ultimate Love Test? Oh Diego. OH Diego. I’m not kidding. I fell in love with you the SECOND I laid eyes on you. You are sweet and kind and that body! The show is complete fucking garbage, but I’ll stare at you until the day I kidnap you and make you my love slave. HOT DAYIM! hot fucking dayim.
For Love or Money? NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO! Why do I keep watching you?
Road Rules: Extreme Challenge? Why is it that Road Rules has gotten SO much better than The Real World? Answer: they do challenges which keep them very busy. You don’t have to watch a half an hour of them getting drunk and fucking each other every week. And they just booted the gay guy from the show. GOOD! I fucking hate homos.
Who Wants to Marry My Dad? Y A W N. I’m sorry, what was that again? Oh yeah, old ugly bitches trying to win the love of a toolbox. In all honesty, I feel as though zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Blown Out? Jonathan Antin makes for GOOD television. Tune in and see what goes on when he opens a new salon and hires a bunch of primadonnas to run shop. Oh LORD it’s damn ridiculous. But also guilty pleasure supreme!
Bands on the Run? I didn’t even LIKE these bands when they were out (Kajagoogoowhat?), but watching them try to get together for once last concert is just about the most addicting show out there right now. VH1, with this and I Love the 90’s, you own me. MTV can SUCK it.
Reno 911? Damn you for being the funniest show on television. Holy shit you are hysterical. You’re giving my Simpsons a run for their money. Back off or I’ll have to break your legs Lt. Dangle.
Last Comic Standing? Sit down you unfunny assholes. I HATE unfunny assholes. I LOVE hairless ones though. PUKE!
JOJO’s “Get Out”? Guilty pleasure #104.
I guess that’s it for now. Just had to get my opinion out there. You understand. You always understand. You are thoughtful and kind and your cock is huge. Stick it in my mouth and let’s take care of business. But if you squirt in my mouth and you don’t warn me…I’m taking a bite out as a keepsake. That will teach you not to dump in my mouth.
Great Thursday all!
There are some things in my life that I adore beyond belief. Here is a small sampling of these things. These things Six. Like Six from Blossom. Or like 666 cuz of the debil. Or like-Fuck you then.
1) I adore Miss Rita Rudner. When I am up way too late or if it’s a Friday and I’ve just gotten in from the bars, the first thing I do is turn on “Ask Rita”. I find this woman to not only be hilarious, but she is everything that I would want to be as an adult female. She is professional and classy and I love the way she talks. She began her career as a dancer. She had been in numerous Broadway productions before she married her husband and began writing and producing films. Her talk show is wonderful. If you find yourself awake at 2am sometime, tune in and check her out. She’s fabuloso! And she also reminds me of my friend Rita. Now you get the WHOLE picture.
2) It ain’t macaroni and cheese if it’s done with anything but Velveeta. YUMSICLE! I make THE best macaroni and chizzle. It’s creamy, thick goodness and it has less fat than cheddar cheese! Have you read the box? Velveeta tells no lies. Cook up a pound of pasta, melt in a box of the Velve and you got yourself one extra special good dinner. It sticks to your ribs with satisfaction! I also eat a lot of tacos. Tacos are good.
3) Back in the day I used to love a band called “Guster”. Over time, I forgot about them, much to my embarracksment. This past weekend, Rita gave me the new Guster cd, Keeping it Together, as a birthday present. It is so super great. I can’t stop from playing it over and over and well…over. So far songs #2 and #9 are my flava flave. You will love. And if you don’t, then obviously you love pestilence. You eat it and you love it.
4) I’m sorry, but The Simple Life 2 is even funnier and more enjoyable than the first. Paul and I have become addicts, which is nice since we don’t usually share the same taste in television. Anything that comes out of Paris and Nicole’s mouths makes me die laughing. Then, if they are bored, they don’t give a fuck, and they’ll ruin your life for jokes. Did you happen to see last night’s episode when they were trying to find the two boys some girlfriends? Every girl bailed on these two guys and out of nowhere, Paris enters and sits a gay guy down at the table. The two boys looked horrified and had no idea what to say. I shit with laughter and then I beat my dick off furiously. What? I was pissed at my dick.
5) Paul and I have started to download a shitload of musicload on his computerload. Each song is 99cents and since Paul has a million 99cents, I can have whatever music I want! I have been souping up his PC with so much good shit. I found a Rufus Wainwright cover of “Across the Universe” that makes me so so happy. I’m about to create the most amazing mix cd. And then, only then, will I have completed my life goal of burning a cd. I have a cd burner that I got for a Christmas present, but I have yet to figure out how to use it. Now I’ll just use Paul’s computer and let my burner sit quietly in the corner of my bedroom. It’s very pretty when it sits quietly.
6) I love TV. Here is my opinion on the most recent shows to debut.
The Amazing Race 3? The Amazing LOVE!
The Ashlee Simpson Show? The ashlee I fucking hope you die Show.
The Next Action Star? Eh. Not as good as I had hoped show.
Newlyweds? I’ve had ENUFF! All Simpsons should go away forevel and evel amen. Except for Homer, Marge, Bart, Maggie, and Lisa. They are the only characters that give clout to the Simpson name. And they’re cartoons!
The Ultimate Love Test? Oh Diego. OH Diego. I’m not kidding. I fell in love with you the SECOND I laid eyes on you. You are sweet and kind and that body! The show is complete fucking garbage, but I’ll stare at you until the day I kidnap you and make you my love slave. HOT DAYIM! hot fucking dayim.
For Love or Money? NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO! Why do I keep watching you?
Road Rules: Extreme Challenge? Why is it that Road Rules has gotten SO much better than The Real World? Answer: they do challenges which keep them very busy. You don’t have to watch a half an hour of them getting drunk and fucking each other every week. And they just booted the gay guy from the show. GOOD! I fucking hate homos.
Who Wants to Marry My Dad? Y A W N. I’m sorry, what was that again? Oh yeah, old ugly bitches trying to win the love of a toolbox. In all honesty, I feel as though zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Blown Out? Jonathan Antin makes for GOOD television. Tune in and see what goes on when he opens a new salon and hires a bunch of primadonnas to run shop. Oh LORD it’s damn ridiculous. But also guilty pleasure supreme!
Bands on the Run? I didn’t even LIKE these bands when they were out (Kajagoogoowhat?), but watching them try to get together for once last concert is just about the most addicting show out there right now. VH1, with this and I Love the 90’s, you own me. MTV can SUCK it.
Reno 911? Damn you for being the funniest show on television. Holy shit you are hysterical. You’re giving my Simpsons a run for their money. Back off or I’ll have to break your legs Lt. Dangle.
Last Comic Standing? Sit down you unfunny assholes. I HATE unfunny assholes. I LOVE hairless ones though. PUKE!
JOJO’s “Get Out”? Guilty pleasure #104.
I guess that’s it for now. Just had to get my opinion out there. You understand. You always understand. You are thoughtful and kind and your cock is huge. Stick it in my mouth and let’s take care of business. But if you squirt in my mouth and you don’t warn me…I’m taking a bite out as a keepsake. That will teach you not to dump in my mouth.
Great Thursday all!
